


panic! at the blue house

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Attempt at Humor, Eventual Smut, Junmyeon is a little shit, M/M, Mentioned Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble, bodyguard! yifan, but everyone is an adult, first son! junmyeon, first son! minseok, what am i doing with my life anyways so here is some krisho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24623383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yifan did not sign up for this.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 53
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

“Parting is such sweet sorrow  
That I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.”

Junmeyon flung the book down with such force that it flew off the marble tiles and was threatening to land in the newly chlorinated pool if Yifan had not caught it, almost toppling into the pool himself.

While graduating from Harvard, Yifan had not seen himself risking his life for moody nineteen year olds.

Junmeyon dramatically flings his head back and whines.

He was obviously not in the least sad to part with _that_ book.

"You could have let if fall! I thought your job was protecting my life, not making it harder for me."

Yifan purses his lips.

"We both know that there are several copies of Romeo and Juliet in the library."

"I plan on destroying each one of them. "

The biggest threat to the President's house is the son himself, and Yifan is extremely vocal about that opinion.

Junmyeon huffs pointedly and Yifan takes that as an end- of-study-session signal.

Well, if lounging by the pool and barely getting through a scene of the play counts as a study session. Either way, it's not his problem.

Making sure that no one is waiting to assassinate Junmyeon, (However, if due research was done, Yifan would probably top the list of people who want to assassinate Junmyeon) he leads the way to the back entrance of the house. The guards curtly nod at Yifan. Every staff member acknowledges the fact that Yifan has the singular most difficult job in the household.

The house is empty - Mr and Mrs Kim are out on a charity event, and the servants have a day off. Mrs.Kim's assistant, Irene spots Yifan and tries to stuff her suspicious looking book out of sight, cheeks flaming.

He could have sworn it was a manga.

"I-"

"Yifannie!"

That delays all explanations for later and Yifan bounds after Junmyeon and catches Irene giving him a pitiful look. Yifan mentally wishes her best of luck, cause mangas are one hell of a ride.

Not that he would know, obviously.

He catches up with Junmyeon who is already in his bedroom, looking at himself thoughtfully in the mirror.

"I think I'll take a shower."

"Okay-"

Junmyeon starts stripping then and there and Yifan covers his eyes and looks away.  
Junmyeon is a sneaky bitch who loves putting Yifan in uncomfortable situations, and Yifan retaliates by snitching on him.

It's a twisted game of who will break first.  
  


He hears the showers running and finally risks a peak. The room is devoid of any naked Junmyeons.

Yifan falls back into the bed and sighs.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"The Turkish Ambassador was so kind to gift us these apricots. Aren't they wonderful, Jun?"

Junmeyon makes a face at his mother.

"They taste like rotten M&Ms."

Yifan tries to stiffle a laugh from his corner of the dining room.

Mr.Kim tries one and has a coughing fit until someone comes to their senses and hands him a glass of water.

"Jun' s right , these are terrible, Yoona."

Mrs.Kim sends her husband an accusing glare, and he gingerly puts another apricot in his mouth and spits it out in his napkin when she is not looking.   
  


Yifan wonders what the world thinks of Korea's first family. They are the most chaotic people they know, and yet the only family he could imagine of being the first family.

"By the way, Minseok's exams are over, so he will be coming over until the next semester."

Junmyeon chokes on his tteokbokki.

"What?"

Don't get him wrong, he loves his brother, but his presence in the house also equals less privacy and less flirting with Yifan because Minseok keeps tabs on him.

He's pretty sure Minseok can blackmail his ass to Jupiter and back.

"It's going to be so nice to see both my boys together again," Mrs.Kim beams and ruffles his hair.  
  


Junmeyon silently stuffs his mouth full of rice cakes to refrain from commenting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments and kudos((


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I have never updated so fast.

Kyoong wakes him up unnecessarily early in the morning by jumping onto his bed and yapping right in his eardrum and Junmyeon almost swats at him before remembering that he is the only member of the household who isn't after his life. 

Even Yeol has a hate-love relationship with him.

So instead, Junmeyon pats his cute little snout. 

"Good boy Koongie. Where is Yeol?"

Kyoong gives him the watery puppy eyes that appear everytime he has a cat-fight with the beagle.

Junmeyon, sensing an unresolved issue, pushes himself up on his elbows and gets out of bed. Kyoong follows him, yapping away in his wake.

Junmyeon has a feeling that he is bitching about Yeol in corgi language, and he nods along, agreeing to everything.

Yes, Yeol is a big meanie and he always hogs the chew toys. Kyoongie is the best boy, isn't he?

  
Junmyeon has to carry Kyoong out of his room, and he immediately hides his snout in Junmyeon's arms as soon as he sees Yeol near the kitchen.

Kyungsoo flashes Junmyeon a no one-has-pissed-me-off-yet smile and hums as he viciously mixes a batter of some kind, which Junmyeon finds out to be chocolate chip cookies, and is thrown out of the kitchen for dipping his fingers into Kyungsoo's "untouched and clean" mix.

Kyungsoo cookes like an angel, looks like one too, but there is also a reason the rest of the kitchen staff stay in line.

His mom spots him (being the President, her office hours are extremely flexible) and pats down a spot next her. 

"Which curtain do you think will suit Minseok's room more?"

If Junmyeon could have rolled his eyes a bit more, they would have popped off.

So he points at the most hideous one and smiles innocently.

"That's totally hyung's style."

He relishes watching Irene note it down on her IPad.

He juts his lips out and rests his head on his mom's shoulders in his best angelic pose. He has limited time to get on his mother's good side after the apricot conundrum yesterday before Minseok arrives. 

His mom simply fiddled with his hair and looks at him skeptically.

"You need a haircut, Jun, and you need to do something about that disgusting dye."

On the contrary, Junmyeon thought the bright red made him look good. It had almost faded, and his natural brown colour was popping it, and it gave a nice effect.

Not worse than Minseok's green tragedy, but of course he would be the only one on the receiving end of criticism.

"So to clarify, ma'am, the governor will be arriving on Tuesday and rooms have already been reserved in Myeong-dong. Also, the new intern will be arriving that day too, and will be staying in the staff quarters, so we will send someone to pick him up from the airport. Also, I think purple tulips would look better in the-"

Junmyeon zones out as Irene keeps on rattling. He can see Yifan training in the outdoors gym with the corner of his eyes, and he just really, really wants to run his fingers along Yifan's defined body.

He would rather kill himself than say that out loud.

Yeol interrupts his fantasies by bounding up to him and jumping onto his lap, and Kyoong snuggles impossibly closer into his arms. Yeol has those sad puppy eyes and Junmyeon really wants to pet him but remembers at the last moment that he is loyal to Kyoong. Bros before beagles.

Junmyeon feels like a pathetic third wheel as the two puppies stare at each other.

His mom is long gone, tailed by Irene and Junmyeon is all alone to deal with dog drama. Thankfully, Yifan appears (still sweaty, Junmyeon notes) and Yeol immediately transfers his attention to him and Kyoong slinks away.

"They are so cute." Yifan says as he ruffles Yeol's fur .

Junmyeon is cute too, but obviously Yifan doesn't notice that.

"What do you want to do today?"

Lots of things come to Junmyeon's mind that he would vehemently deny if asked.

"Let's go shopping."

Yifan gives him a judgemental glare.

"What? It's my birthday soon and I need new clothes."

Technically, his birthday is weeks away, but according to Junmyeon, his birthday starts the moment the tabloids bring up his previous year's birthday. It's a tradition.

And only yesterday he saw an article on his "Disney-prince worthy suit" that he wore last year. 

It had been boring as heck, with a percentage of attendees ninety percent and above being also above that particular age range.

It had been the first "occasion" in the family after his mother's winning election, so the PR team used it as a housewarming party for the family.

The only thing warm about that party was the food, and he couldn't even stuff himself with hundred of eyes watching him. Heck, he turned eighteen, give him a break.

Yifan sighs in defeat and takes out his intercom to whisper in a mysterious lamguage that only the security detail understood.

He didn't even feel guilty about having to drive everyone else out of the store.

Yifan staggers in with the Starbucks (He volunteered to go alone so as to not deprive other people of their morning coffee) only to see Junmeyon in a completely ridiculous green suit.

"Do you like it?"

"It's ugly."

Junmyeon frowns and tugs off the suit, making grabby hands at the coffee.

Yifan looks on as Junmyeon uses both his hands to hold the cup which looks strangely large in his hands.

"Choose a suit for me."

Technically, that is Chung-ha's job, but she is busy squealing over three pairs of shoes that look exactly the same.

Yifan shrugs and shuffles through the racks and racks of designer suits that have been put on display for them. 

He finds a black piece that doesn't look ridiculous like the others and pulls it out.

"This."

Junmyeon tilts his head to look at it and puts it on.

"That is so pretty, where did you find it!"

Chung-ha advances upon them immediately, and Yifan doesn't even get a chance to appreciate his handiwork before she whisks off Junmyeon off to find matching accessories.

Yifan makes a face after them.

  
The crowd gathered outside the shop doesn't help the security details' job at all. 

Junmyeon waves his Starbucks cup at them and disappears into the protection of the Presidential limo and it's tinted windows.

"Ahjusshi, do you know which flavor Starbucks the President's son likes the most?"

Yifan gives the girl a look from under his black sunglasses and she shrinks away.

  
Ahjusshi.

Ppfft.

 _Ajhusshi_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few clarifications about the story:
> 
> 1\. The Korean Presidential House is called "The Blue House", thus the title.  
> 2.It is known as Cheongwadae to the locals, so I may use that name in some places.  
> 3\. Junmeyon is eighteen till this chapter, and he will be turning nineteen soon, so everyone is legally an adult here ( although they may not act like it.)  
> 4\. Yifan is somewhere around 26 or 27, while Minseok is also around 23/24.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo I'm back.  
> All your comments really fire me up tbh.

Junmyeon is fucking terrified of ghosts. And he just saw one.

So he does the rational thing. He drops his glass of water and screams.

Yifan appears out of nowhere with his taser and flashlight and blocks Junmyeon's view with his huge self. Junmyeon preens a little as Yifan grabs his wrist.

But it lasts for a moment.

Honestly, to hell with Minseok.

"What the fuck are you doing roaming around in the dark?"

Minseok grabs a table to steady himself as he wheezes with laughter.

"My plane landed at midnight and I came home. What was I supposed to do, roam around in the streets?"

Junmyeon catches Yifan smiling and he is pissed. 

He wasn't the one who brought a taser into this situation, was he?

"I think it's best if we all go to sleep for now."

Minseok nods his head and vanishes into the darkness while Junmyeon stomps back to his room.

"Sleep with me," he tells Yifan and curls onto his soft pillows.

Yifan was used to sleeping in his room, as he did a few months back when assassination threats were circulating all over the place . He even had a roll-up bed stowed away in the back of the closet, which he pulls out now and arranges on the floor.

Junmyeon whines.

"You can sleep on my bed, there is plenty of space."

Yifan ignores him and pulls the mattress an inch closer to his bed and lies down.

"Yifannie?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep."

Silence.

"Let's watch a movie."

Junmyeon takes it as a silent agreement and grabs his laptop from his desk, making himself comfortable on Yifan's mattress before he can protest.

"What do you want to watch?"

Yifan grunts a whatever, so Junmyeon selects a random movie that Netflix recommends him.

"You are a scaredy cat," Yifan says as the opening credits of Train to Busan start rolling.

Junmyeon opens his mouth to argue and then remembers that he screamed when he saw his own brother, so he promptly shuts up.

There is silence for some minutes.

Junmyeon presses back intentionally on Yifan's crotch and smirks to himself when Yifan shifts behind him.  
  
"Gong Yoo is so cute."

"He's like, fifty."

"Close to your age, then."

"I'm twenty-seven."

"He's forty."

They bicker their way through the first few scenes. 

The zombies appear and Junmyeon shuts up immediately and Yifan decides he likes him better like this.

  
"Don't you think- oh."

Junmyeon is asleep, and Yifan wonders how he didn't notice it before.

His cheeks are squashed against Yifan's chest and his mouth is partly open, little sighs coming out of his nose.

Cute, Yifan catches himself thinking and then stows the thought away at the very back of his mind.

"I heard you fell asleep on Yifan yesterday."

Junmyeon flicks an orange peel at his brother.

Their parents have a breakfast meeting ( Junmyeon had never thought that he would ever associate those two words together, but has come to the conclusion that it is a rich people thing.)

"Who told you."

"Kyungsoo." 

Somehow Minseok and Kyungsoo are bosom buddies ever since the latter started working here, and the kitchen staff also have an extensive grapevine of Blue House gossip.

Kyungsoo settles in a chair beside them and gives Junmyeon a come-at-me-bitch eyebrow raise.

Junmyeon thinks it's cozy how the staff are not afraid of eating with them.

"I missed you, Minnie," he says as he tucks into one of his own pancakes.

"Hey, what about me?"

"You were here the entire time, dumbass."

"Yeah, but I didn't see you for the entirety of the night. You could have missed me even a little bit."

Kyungsoo gives him extra syrup on his pancakes as compensation.

"How's Changmin?" He askes conversationally and Minseok's face falls. Kyungsoo gives him the eyes.

"What?"

"We broke up," Minseok mumbles between bites of food.

"Yeah, I volunteered to mess up his pretty face."

"How does Kyungsoo know this and I don't? I'm your brother!"

"You don't text me back, asshole."

Junmyeon thinks about it. Technically, Minseok is right.

"I'm sorry about Changmin," he says at last.

"It's okay." 

Junmyeon knows that it will be. Minseok has had a long line of boyfriends queuing up ever since high school, and he knows that there are more to come. Changmin was probably one of Minseok's favourite boyfriends, but Junmyeon knows that Minseok doesn't stay in denial too long. He'll find someone else.

Minseok pokes at him with Kyungsoo's spatula.

"You haven't told me the real news yet, Jun. How's Yifan?"

Kyungsoo giggles deviously from behind the juice carton.

"Same old," Junmyeon says and tries to get up, but Minseok has an iron grip on his arm. He could professionally arm wrestle if he wanted to.

"You are nineteen and you haven't had a boyfriend in years."

"Yeah, well, I have Kyoong and we love each other."

"That's bestiality," Kyungsoo points out and Junmyeon wants to throw a pancake at him. Only thing that stops him is that they are too delicious and he doesn't want to waste them, and also because Kyungsoo will probably get his revenge by poisoning his ramen or something.

"You can't be a virgin forever, Jun," Minseok says and pats his arm in mock sadness.

Kyungsoo digests that piece of information with sparkling eyes.

"I'll be sure to pass that information on to Yifan." 

Junmyeon lunges at him and Minseok restraints him with some difficulty.

"What information?"

Of course. Of course Yifan chooses that exact moment to stroll in and all of them fall silent immediately.

Kyungsoo makes due excuses and slips into the kitchen and Minsoek drags Junmyeon up to his room for "redecorating ideas."

  
Yifan shrugs and squeezes some chocolate syrup over his pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Junmyeon here reflects me in daily life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sneakily changed Yifan's age in the previous chapters so ))
> 
> This is sort of a filler? Idk.

Junmyeon positively _escapes_ from lunch.

He can't eat with Irene breathing down their necks, her fingers flying away on the keyboard if her IPad and Junmyeon wonders if IPads can feel pain.

"I have an interview with the new intern, and then I'll be right back, okay, Minnie? We have a lot to talk about."

Junmyeon can imagine the inner-Minseok purring contentedly as his hair is ruffled by their mother.

"Do you like my new hair, mom?"

"My baby looks like a fairy."

Oh, so Minseok's silver explosion is okay, but not his red hair. That's fair.

Junmyeon can't stand another moment of his mother coddling Minseok like he is three, not twenty three, and his brother complaining about customs needing extra time to ship his stuff because of his cat.

According to Junmyeon, that cat belongs in hell.

He is named after trigonometry, and everything related to that belongs in hell. 

So he stuffs the food into his mouth and slips out of the room, with only Irene noticing him and gives him a suspicious side eye. He strolls out into the garden casually and into that little corner that he had once found when he had that huge fight over Detective Conan with Minseok. Yeol manages to find him somehow , with a squeaky ball in his mouth which makes noises as he bites into it.

Junmyeon sighs and aggressively throws the ball for Yeol, before realising he could potentially hit someone with that and runs after it himself.

Yeol, enjoying the competition bounds after him.

"Oh, hey-"

Junmyeon sees Yifan before his brain registers it and has to restrain himself before he almost bodily falls onto Yifan.

"Woah, slow down."

Junmyeon doesn't understand whether that was addressed to him or Yeol, but Yeol doesn't seem to care and happily pursues his ball.

"Want to, uh, play ball?"

Play basketball with a whole Yifan in his favourite basket ball team's sleeveless jersey? Junmyeon could have died and gone to heaven. Apart from one tiny problem.

"I have never played basketball."

Yifan almost scoffs in what seems to be disbelief.

"What about high school? Everyone played ball in school and-"

"I never went to high school," Junmeyon mumbles and turns around so Yifan can't see his red face. 

"You are home schooled now, but what about before all this? Before your Mom became President?"

Junmyeon shakes his head, suddenly interested in the concrete ground.

Well, technically he went to high school. For a week. Until someone pointed a gun to his head because his mother was running for President. He went home that day and never went back. Certainly not his proudest moment.

"Hey, it's okay. Lots of people choose not to go to school. "

A hand rests on his shoulder and Junmyeon kind of wants to melt into it's warmth. Yifan shifts his weight from one foot to another.

"Do you want to learn?"

"Huh?"

"Basketball?"

"Sure."

Yifan expertly passes the orange ball from his right hand to his left and dribbles it against the ground before passing it back to his right.

"Here, try dribbling the ball."

Junmyeon takes the ball and it rolls away with two small bounces.

Yifan smiles and his eyes crinkle cutely.

"Here, try it like this."

He wraps himself around Junmyeon, and pushes him into a bending position with his body.

Junmyeon realises how small his hands are compared to Yifan's as they slip into his and bounces the ball back and forth on his fingers.

"See? It's easy. Try it for yourself."

Oh shit. Was he supposed to be concentrating?

He awkwardly manages to catch the ball that Yifan throws at him and mimics Yifan to the best of his ability. The ball bounces for some time and then rolls away again.

"See? That was much better then last time."

Junmyeon nods in confusion, not really sure which part was "better".

"Here, let me show you how to throw hoops."

Junmyeon doesn't know much about basketball, but Yifan looks like those scary looking people who professionally play it on shows that his dad watches in between the stock-market news. He looks like he was born to play basketball. Why did he become a bodyguard anyway?

Junmyeon is shaken out of his reverie with Yifan manhandling him again, moving his foot this way and that, telling him to stop hunching his shoulders and to rotate his head.

"Hey, Yifannie?"

"Hmm? Do you think this is too much to the left? You should probably move a bit right to be able to hit that-"

"How did you end up here? I mean, as a bodyguard?"

"Are we doing a background check?"

Yifan speaks really close to Junmyeon's ears, and he shudders.

"Oh no, it's okay, if you are not comfortable-".

"Well, I got scouted on campus. Looks like it's not only Entertainment Companies who scout people, you know. I was a Lit Major and couldn't even get a job in the local,cafe, so it was worth a shot."

That was probably the weirdest story that Junmyeon ever had heard.

"Scouted? As a bodyguard?"

"Mmhm."

"Like what did they say to you? You are over six feet and you have body muscle, do you want to come and guard the President's son?"

"More or less."

Junmyeon can't say whether Yifan is joking or not.

"So, let's do that hoop, okay?"

Junmyeon stands the way Yifan tells him to and concentrates on the red basket. Then he throws the ball. He misses by a huge gap and the ball just hits the metal rod.

Yifan doubles over in laughter. 

"You are the worst player I have seen in my life."

"Did you just offer to teach me to embarrass me?" Junmyeon narrows his eyes at Yifan who is breathless now.

"That's it, I'm out."

Junmyeon turns away and huffs.

"Hey no, no, listen, I'll help you, okay?"

Yifan stretches out his arms and Junmyeon isn't sure what it means. Not until Yifan comes closer and bodily picks him up. 

"Yifan what the fu-".

"Here, wrap your legs around my waist, okay?"

Junmyeon's head is spinning, and he is pretty sure he will fall off if he doesn't. He wraps his arms around Yifan's neck for good measure. 

Junmyeon doesn't dare look down. He's afraid of heights and he's pretty sure Yifan qualifies as "heights".

"You can reach the hoop now."

He actually can. He is taller then the hoop. Junmyeon aggressively throws the ball into the hoop and takes great pleasure in seeing it fall down through the net into the ground. 

"Look, you did it!"

Yifan lowers him until they are face to face but doesn't let go of Junmyeon's waist.

"Micheal Jordon would be jealous of you," he says in a low voice, and Junmyeon can't think anymore. They are so fucking close. If only-

He feels his feet hitting the ground and the pressure around his waist his gone.

"I'll go take a shower, okay?" 

Junmyeon nods dumbly.

Yeah, he needs a shower too.

Junmyeon can't believe he's fingering himself in the shower over the memory of Yifan's hands around his waist and his breathe on his ears.

He has hit an all time low.

Fuck Yifan and his enormous hands, which would, by the way, do a much better job at this than he is going right now.

Junmyeon bites his lips to prevent himself from screaming Yifan's name, because he wants to murder the man and get fucked by him at the same time.

All he does is make Junmyeon miserable and then leave, like nothing happened.

Him and his sleeveless basketball jerseys and his gummy smile and his arms and his-

" Jun? Mom wants us to go downstairs. We need to meet some guy."

"Yeah, I'll be right out, give me a minute."

He presumes Minseok is gone because there is silence again and fucks himself on his fingers to get off.

His chest heaves as he finally climaxes and downs himself in cold water to cool down. He catches a reflection of himself on his mirror, and his hair is almost back to his same boring brown again. He needs a new hair color. 

  
Maybe Yifan would like blonde? 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I procrastinated so long on this chapter that I hate myself now. I guess this is like a pivotal point in the story?

"He's from where?"

"Mom didn't know either, but apparently he has huge influence. Now shut up."

Junmyeon fiddles with the hem of his shirt and awkwardly looks around as the Ambassador and his parents make small talk. He doesn't really understand what the purpose of Minseok and him being there is, and his mother had given him a piercing look when he asked, so he keeps shut and nibbles on the finger food in front of him.

He was almost dozing off to sleep when the scraping of chairs wake him up and he hastily gets up to shake hands with the Ambassador.

"Junmyeon, right? That's a pretty name."

Junmyeon just smiles, not knowing what else to do and is glad to see the man finally being escorted outside by his bodyguards.

"Wow, that was a complete waste of time," Minseok says, suddenly appearing at his shoulders and steering him out of the room.

"Want to have a sleepover?"

Junmyeon is taken by surprise. Even though they live down the same hallway, they have sleepovers everytime Minseok came back home. For some reason, Junmyoen hadn't expected him to remember their childish tradition.

But Minseok did and now Junmyeon has that tingling warm feeling in his stomach.

"Sure, your room or mine?"

"Yours, mine have some disgusting new curtains and I can only tolerate them when I'm asleep."

Junmyeon bites his lips to hide his smile and almost bumps into the blonde guy who he had noticed was tailing Irene since morning.

He is introduced to them as the new intern,and Junmyeon shakes hands with him but zones out when Yifan suddenly appears at his shoulders.

Luhan coughs awkwardly as Junmyeon still hangs in to his hand and Junmyeon notices it a tad too late and hastily lets go.

"You are so weird around Yifan, you are lucky that he is as dense as you," Minseok says once Irene and Luhan are out of earshot.

Junmyeon doesn't reply.

  
Being the light sleeper, Junmyeon gets woken up first.

Moonbyul storms into their room and Junmyeon tries to cover up his Pikachu pyjamas with the bedsheets but Monnbyul is not having any of that.

She drags him and Minseok out of bed and tells them that there has been a break-in attempt and that she will be staying in their room until security gives further information.

Minseok, barely processing any of that information falls asleep on his bodyguards shoulder and Junmyeon wonders where Yifan is.

Almost half an hour has passed and Junmyeon is falling asleep on a very uncomfortably looking Monnbyul when the door opens again and Yifan's voice jerks Minseok and him awake.

"You all are to go downstairs."

Junmyeon has absolutely no wish to go out in front of all the staff in his pyjamas but he reluctantly follows Yifan and Minseok down the stairs.

He can see his mother talking to a very pale faced Jongin- 

Wait. What?

"That's Jongin, right?" he askes Minseok who gives him a dirty look and goes to hug their cousin.

"Hey, hyung," Jongin gives him a sad sort of smile as he sits down beside him.

"You could have just called me, Jongin," his mother says and Jongin turns red.

"My brain wasn't working, I just needed to get away and-"

"It's okay. Go to your room now, I'll speak to your mother."

Jongin thanks her a million times before following them upstairs, and Minseok forces him to stay in Junmyeon's room too, as it would be "cozy".

Junmyeon doesn't see how, since Jongin is twice the size of both of them respectively, but doesn't protest either way.

"So what happened?" Junmyeon, not being able to contain himself, asks once they are comfortably settled on his bed. Jongin has already hogged the rilakumma plushie so Junmyeon grabs the bunny one.

I told my mom I don't want to continue training , and she threw me out," Jongin mumbles.

Neither Minseok or Junmyeon are surprised.

It's not the fisrt time Jongin and his mother have had an argument on him becoming an idol, and Junmyeon has a feeling it's definitely not the last.

Everyone except for his mother seems to realise that her son will go to any bounds to prevent himself from being in a latex wearing boy group.

"She'll come around," Minseok consoles him and pats him on the back, but the look on his face says that he is unsure of that fact.

"Yeah, maybe."

Jongin looks unconvinced, but tired.

"Let's just sleep," Minseok prompts and they all find pillows and huddle up in a bundle on Junmyeon's bed.

"Wow, this bed is comfortable. I forgot how rich you all were."

Junmyeon elbows him softly and Minseok giggles softly.

"It's the taxes, Jongin."

"So all this actually belongs to everyone in Korea?"

"Technically."

"So this rilakumma is technically mine."

"You are lucky I'm sleepy."

"I missed you, hyungs. I should have ran away sooner."

"Don't let your Mom hear that."

  
Obviously, the conversation isn't going well.

Jongin is close to tears and Minseok has a death grip on his fork.

Their mom cuts the call and sighs deeply, and there is pin drop silence in the room.

"She said she doesn't want to see Jongin anytime soon."

It seems to be comparatively less worse then what Jongin expected, as his chest heaves in relief.

"Can we keep him, Mom?" Minsoek asks with big eyes and Junmyeon knows the answer before it comes.

"I promise I'll pay you off when I get a job" Jongin says as his hair gets ruffled by his aunt.

"That's completely unnecessary, Jongin. You are family."

Junmyein sees his mom flash a genuine smile at them befire she leaves with Irene and the tension in the room is finally lifted.

Kyungsoo peeps in, and seeing that his employer is gone, makes himself comfortable next to Junmyeon.

"It's sorted?"

"Yeah, Jongin is staying."

"Oh gosh, this is so good, who made this," Jongin positively moans with a mouth full of bacon.

"I did," Kyungsso offers and Jongin's eyes go wide as he suddenly notices Kyungsoo in the middle of his celebratory mukbang.

"I don't believe we have met," Kyungsoo continues and extends a hand which Jongin awkwardly shakes.

When he has finally swallowed all the meat, Jongin wipes his mouth and looks embarrassed.

"It's just that I didn't eat such good cooking in so long. The food at the company was horrible."

Kyungsoo nods understandingly.

Yifan strolls in with Yeol in his arms.

"This little guy was so hungry he was chewing on my gym equipment," he says and Minseok offers his fork of bacon to Yeol who happily finishes it in one mouthful and hangs his tongue out for more, which Minseok readily obliges to.

"So you were the guy last night," Yifan says and Jongin squirms under his gaze.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Kyungsoo says, waving his spoon at Yifan who shrugs.

"He could have used the doorbell instead of trying to sneak in, that's all I am saying."

Jongin turns red and tries to hide behind the salt dispenser.

"What are you doing today?" Yifan causally asks Junmyeon who is taken off guard and almost stabs himself with the fork.

"Nothing much."

"Cool, I'll be setting up security for your cousin here then. Can't have him breaking into people's houses."

"Oh my god, he's scary," Jongin says with big eyes once Yifan is gone. " Is that your boyfriend, Junmyeon hyung?"

Minseok chokes on his Americano and Kyungsoo buries his face in his plate, but he is clearly laughing.

"He's my bodyguard. Shut up you both."

Jongin looks around confusedly as he tries to figure out what is happening.

"We need a guest list for your birthday."

Irene is after his life, and Junmyeon is aware of it. 

"Just invite anyone."

"It's your birthday."

Luhan looks back and forth as he tries to get the hang of his new IPad. Junmyeon has a sneaking suspicion that the government is actually sponsored by Apple.

"I'll figure it out later," Junmyeon huffs and Irene gives up. 

"Tomorrow."

Junmyeon is glad to hear the clicking of her heels fade away.

"Couldn't you have atleast kept your boyfriend intact so that I had one less guest to search up?"

Minseok throws something at him but Junmyeon is sure not what it is as he ducks for cover.

"He was terrible at parties anyways," Minseok says to no one in particular as Junmyeon bites the end of his pen.

"I can't believe I'm turning nineteen."

"Atleast now you can legally thirst over your bodyguard."

Junmyeon makes a face at his brother but Minseok ignores him and swipes through his phone.

  
"Oh my god, is that Luhan?"

Junmyeon peers into Minseok's phone screen, his eyes hazy as he tries to get used to the sudden light.

It's the new intern all right. But with eyeliner and a grey sweatshirt, which makes him look so much younger.

"His cat is so cute," Minseok points out but Junmyeon thinks he is focusing on the wrong things here.

"Yeah, his cat," Junmyeon says and rolls over, staring at the list.

Only eighty nine more names to go.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ))))


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bring my bunny back from the military ((

"Happy birthday, loser!"

Junmyeon squeezes his eyes shut tightly as someone crawls onto his bed beside him and giggles excitedly while two pairs of padded feet jump onto chest and yaps right into his ear.

When he finally cracks his eyes open (deeming it safe enough to do so), he sees Minsoek waving a plate of chocolate cake around in a dangerous manner.

The housekeeping staff would not appreciate cleaning chocolate out of the bedsheets.

He eases himself up as Jongin reluctantly releases his death grip around him, and everyone promptly bursts into a offkey version of the birthday song. That is, Minseok and Jongin, while Kyoong barks, unsure of what is going on ,but never missing a chance to add more chaos to the already existing pandemonium. Yifan just stands awkwardly at the door and gives a ghost of a gummy smile when their eyes meet.

"Why did you let them in?" Junmyeon whines.

"They bribed me with chocolate cake."

Yifan shrugs as if that explained everything.

He finally manages to shoo everyone out of his room with promises of continuing the party downstairs at breakfast, hopefully after brushing his teeth and a shower, and they file out of his room with protests and whiny barks, until only Yifan is left.

Junmyeon tenses up. He's kind of disappointed Yifan hadn't wished him yet, but maybe this was it. Yifan would tell him that he had a birthday present for him and kiss him slowly and longingly and then they would live happily ever after.

Instead Yifan pats his head with a sad sort of smile.

"Happy nineteenth birthday."

And then the handles turn with a creak and Junmyeon is all alone.

Junmyeon is positive he just got placed right below Yeol in Yifan's list.

  
His nineteenth birthday isn't going anything like he expected, but he's Kim Junmyeon, so he doesn't give in easily.

That pat on the head was the last straw.

So armed with his shortest shorts and a lollipop, Junmyeon sets off to seduce Yifan. The unbearable sunlight is an unforeseen loophole in his plan, but great things need great sacrifices.

Yifan looks at him incredulously, which wasn't the exact reaction that Junmyeon was expecting.

"Isn't that a bit inappropriate?"

Junmyeon wants to wring his neck. It is _supposed_ to be inappropriate for fuck's sake.

Junmyeon expresses his anger on his orange lollipop and bites into it, so that there is a throbbing pain on his right molars.

Maybe Junmyeon isn't exactly cut out for seducing.

Yifan doesn't even look at him, and he makes himself comfortable on a deck chair next to Junmyeon's and fiddles with his phone.

Junmyeon gets rid of the ruined lollipop and returns his attention to Harry Potter the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Looking back, Harry is just as dense as Yifan, but maybe Yifan wins by a fair percentage. 

It's almost noon when Chung-ha comes to find him and Junmyeon knows he is done for. She gives him a look from head to toe and narrows her eyes. 

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

Junmyeon is glad they are out of Yifan's earshot.

"Listen, booty shorts are not a great choice, even if you are trying to seduce your bodyguard."

It's disconcerting how fast Chung-ha figures him out.

"I wasn't- Yifan-"

"I don't have time for this. We have two hours, max."

So Junmyeon shuts up and let's himself be manhandled by Chung-ha and her makeup minions.

Chung-ha dumping setting spray on his hair is strangely therapeutic and Junmyeon would have dozed off if Irene had not click-clacked into the room, of course with Luhan in tow.

It's suspicious how Luhan is always within twenty inches radius of Irene.

" I got you that kpop band that you wanted," she says gleefully and drops a piece of official looking document into Junmyeon's lap.

'Huh?'

The paper had the BigHit Company watermark on it and Junmyeon almost drops it out of shock and scrambles to retrieve it.

Writing down BTS on his guest list was purely a joke, he was sure Irene would look over that anyways. If he knew that Irene was capable of such witchcraft, he would have written down Red Velvet.

But getting BTS wasn't bad. Not bad at all. He had to give Irene kudos this time, but he plays it off coolly.

Junmyeon, of course is fashionably late to the party and he catches his mother giving him eyes from her corner where she making small talk with ancient looking people in suits.

Of course, he gets swallowed up by the crowd as soon as he enters the room and has to shake the hands with sixty different people he barely remembers inviting. He smiles for pictures, until Yifan rescues him from the clutches of the mob. 

"Oh my god, you were right on time. I thought I was going to suffocate."  
  
"I'll go get you some food?"

"No, stay with me."

Junmyeon doesn't want to let Yifan out of his sight because he looks too damn good in that fancy suit and styled up hair.

"You cleaned up nicely," he comments patting Yifan's sleeve in place.

"You look nice too. I knew this suit would look good on you."

Junmyeon had completely forgotten that Yifan had picked it out for him, and wonders if this conversation classifies as flirting.

It seems almost something that boyfriends would do for each other - pick out clothes. It makes Junmyeon's heart ache a little, for reasons his mind doesn't decipher.

Moonbyul, who looks extremely handsome in her tuxedo, takes Yifan away to go over security protocols and Junmyeon is all alone again.

He can see Jongin and Kyungsoo looking extremly uncomfortable within the crowd and looking at each other for support, and Minseok chattering away to some celebrity about god knows what.

"Is this seat taken?"

It's an unfamiliar voice, and Junmyeon does a double take when he sees the person.

"N-no, go ahead."

"I'm Namjoon, I mean, Rap Monster."

"I know," Junmyeon squeaks, because although BTS aren't his favourites, this man has got presence.

Namjoon takes a sip of his drink and studies Junmyeon, which makes him shift a little in his seat.

"You are even prettier in person. Happy Birthday."

Junmyeon doesn't know how to take that compliment, so he turns pink. He wonders if Namjoon is a little bit drunk.

There is an awkward silence as Namjoon makes his way through his glass, and Junmyeon taps his fingers on the table as a song that sounds familiar starts playing.

"Want to dance?"

Junmyeon accepts the hand that is held out to him.

Namjoon is a good dancer (of course he is, he was trained) and Junmyeon trips a few times, but apart from that, it goes smoothly enough.

Trying to make conversation, Junmyeon states the obvious.

Namjoon returns the compliment with a smile.

"You are really cute."

Junmyeon looks over his shoulder to Yifan downing himself in glasses full of drink, and he is surprised because he's never seen Yifan drink before.

Yifan turns his head and Junmyeon quickly looks away, tripping on nothing in particular and onto Namjoon.

Namjoon gives a small giggle and wraps his arms around Junmyeon's waist. Namjoon is warm and Junmyeon eases into the heat.

"Namjoon-oh."

It's another member, who Junmyeon is pretty sure is named Jin. He doesn't look too pleased to see them together, so Junmyeon scrambles away.

Namjoon raises his eyebrows, but Junmyeon fakes wiping away sweat from his forehead and says that he is tired.

"Happy Birthday," Jin says coldly and Junmyeon is glad to get out of his sight.

"Where were you?"

Minseok is practically shining, living his best extrovert life.

"Dancing with Namjoon."

Minseok gives his signature eyebrow raise.

"He's hot , isn't he?"

He is, but he is no Yifan, Junmyeon wants to say, but doesn't because there is no use adding more fuel to the fire.

Minseok wanders off somewhere,and with a quick glance around, Junmyeon drinks the rest of Minseok's glass.

It's bitter, but it helps. 

It's a long night ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wild, huh?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK.  
> (online classes are a pain in the ass)

Junmyeon feels claustrophobic.

Or maybe it's just the alcohol getting to his system.

The cold wind is a welcome change as he stumbles through the door to the terrace garden, and sighs in relief as he sees no one.

Or so he thinks.

Kyoong bounds up to him barking excitedly and Junmyeon absentmindedly scratches his head until he realises that in no way Kyoong gots past the revolving doors by himself.

"What are you doing here boy?"

He follows Kyoong to the back of the enclosure where he finds Yeol getting head pats from someone.

The stranger is cute, and has the smiliest eyes Junmyeon has ever seen.

"Oh hey, are they yours?"

It takes Junmyeon a moment to understand the question.

"Well, kind of."

"You better sit down."

Junmyeon takes a seat next to him on the patio.

"First time drinking?"

Junmyeon nods, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Don't worry, am not telling anyone. Everyone gets a little loose on their birthday."

"Happy Birthday, by the way."

The one sided conversation feels awkward, but the stranger doesn't seem to mind. Yeol barks softly as if to fill up the silent gaps.

"I'm Hobi." 

He extends his hand to Junmyeon and looks dazed, trying to remember where he had heard that name.

Then it suddenly clicks.

"You're from BTS! You go by J-hope , right?"

Hobi laughs.

It's cute.

"Yes, but I prefer Hobi. Or Hoseok."

"Hobi," Junmyeon repeats, for no particular reason. He likes the way it rolls off his tongue.

"Wouldn't your bodyguard be worrying if you're out here?"

His bodyguard. _Right_.

"No, not really."

Junmyeon's heart clenches- it must be the alcohol. Minseok would have the time of his life when he finds out Junmyeon has a low alcohol tolerance level.

Yeol and Kyoong bark at the same time and Junmyeon is broken pit of his reverie.

"This one is adorable," Hobi says scratching the back of Kyoong' s ears who seems to be loving every bit of the preferential treatment.

"I didn't want a corgi, but he was so cute I had to get to him," Junmyeon says to no one in particular, but Hobi nods along anyways.

"What about him?"

Yeol is very cute too, Junmyeon thinks.

"My bodyguard and I found him outside the gates wounded, and we brought him in. He never left."

Hobi's eyes crinkle as he smiles.

"I wanted a puppy too, but since we travel so much, I thought against it."

Suddenly Junmyeon remembers that this is a BTS member he is talking to. _A celebrity._

Yeol and Kyoong slink off, evidently bored by their conversation.

"I would love to attend your concert one day," Junmyeon says conversationally.

"We would love to have you there."

Hobi is not what Junmyeon expected him to be, and it's a good thing. He feels safe enough to move a few inches closer. 

It's cold and Junmyeon's expensive silk shirt does little to keep him warm.

Of course, Hobi notices.

He takes of his jacket and places it on Junmyeon's shoulder, where it droops a little due to the difference in their sizes.

"Its really not necessary-" 

Junmyeon protests because that is polite, but the jacket does make him feel a lot better.

"Don't want the birthday boy catching a cold, do we?"

"Your fans will be after me if you catch a cold," Junmyeon grumbles.

Hobi chuckles.

"I'm fine, Junmyeon."

It's weird to hear his name from a stranger's mouth but oddly pleasant at the same time.

Junmyeon shifts closer and places the jacket so that it's over both of them but not covering either of them completely.

"You're cute," Hobi says.

Junmyeon would have blamed it on the alcohol but it was already happening before he knew it. 

He remembers Hobi's lips are incredibly soft, but maybe it's just because he hadn't felt anyone's lips in a long time. 

The contact isn't slow for long before it gets heated and Junmyeon has to turn himself around to keep up with the pace. It's wet and Junmyeon feels an adrenaline rush he hasn't felt in ages.

There are hands on his thighs - Yifan's big, veiny hands- 

Fuck.

Junmyeon scrambles away, breaking the kiss abruptly and leaving Hobi looking just as dazed as he feels.

"I-"

"Yeah-"

"Were you-"

It's an incomplete question, one that Junmyeon is scared to ask. 

"I'll see you around, Junmyeon," Hobi says.

His sad smile makes Junmyeon feel worse than he already feels.

The hall is emptier than before, but it does nothing to make Junmyeon feel less miserable. Maybe he's a terrible person after all, kissing someone else to take out his pent up frustrations about Yifan.

He's a horrible, horrible person.

" I searched for you everywhere, where were you?"

The only thing worse that could possibly happen.

"You obviously didn't search well enough."

Yifan looks at him with raised eyebrows. It's not often that Junmyeon snaps at him.

"You are supposed to go to bed."

"Don't tell me what to do."

Junmyeon knows he sounds like a child, but he doesn't think before he speaks.

"Junmyeon?"

Junmyeon struggles to not make eye contact.

"Were you drinking?"

"I'm not a child."

Shut up brain, shut up-

Yifan doesn't reply. Junmyeon deserves it.

"I'm going to bed," he huffs and walks past Yifan.

Sinking into his bed Junmyeon feels like the biggest loser on the planet.

This was _definitely_ the worst birthday ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short but eventful?  
> comment below :0

**Author's Note:**

> I had a dream about this and here we are.
> 
> comments cheer me up uwu.  
> kudos aren't bad either.


End file.
